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Re: I'M BACK - ALMOST

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 11:24 am
by ovenpaa
Sorry to hear of your loss Sandgroper, knowing it was going to happen at some point cannot make it any easier.

It prompted me to call my mother this morning to make sure everything was OK with them in less than sunny Derbyshire.

Re: I'M BACK - ALMOST

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 11:27 am
by dromia
Condolences to you also Sandgroper.

its a bad time of year for older people.

Re: I'M BACK - ALMOST

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 11:36 am
by Christel
Sorry to hear that sandgroper. :|

Re: I'M BACK - ALMOST

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 12:54 pm
by Chuck
Condolences sandgroper. Being remote is a great comforter sometimes.

When I spoke with the old fella just before he went in he sounded seriously tired, so much so he cut the call short. First time ever. My son also visited to say he was looking bad....hindsight kicking in here?????

I was getting texts from my brother from the hospital over the week as to what was happening. At least no news was good news but the frustration of not being able to get over really got to me.

Did some "obvious clearing" last night but not looking forward to his personal stuff. My mother died 4 years ago on December 29 after spending two years in a care home with Altzheimers and Parkinsons. They were married 50 odd years, old boy never got over it.

Seems he also had a leaking heart valve and arthritis was setting in as well as depression (according to an email he sent to an old friend earlier this year - found it last night). At any rate his life quality was certainly going down judging by what was happening to him physically. Much as it's a bummer it's certainly a blessing for him as he was beginning to get some pain from the cancer.

Definitely advise a "wee peek around" at any medeication etc you see next time you are visiting the old folks.

Just looked at his snail mail, wee collection of Xmas cards that need replied to.

Fun weekend, NOT.

Thanks again all.

Chuck

Re: I'M BACK - ALMOST

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 1:49 pm
by GordonR
Chuck and Sandgroper - sincere condolences. Whatever age they live to, there is never a good time to lose them, unless they are really suffering.

Re: I'M BACK - ALMOST

Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 2:18 pm
by Robin128
To have had your parents for the bulk of your lives must be a tremendous asset...alas, all the worse for losing them.

Rob

Re: I'M BACK - ALMOST

Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 9:19 am
by Sandgroper
Thanks everyone, much appreciated. It's just starting to sink in.

Chuck,
Yes, hindsight is a wonderful thing, but you weren't to know how bad things were with your Dad. I knew what was going to happen and I feel like I wasted all that time, by not contacting him more.

I know it's hard clearing personal possessions, but I know if my G/Father is about he'll be having a chuckle at the thought of the family going through everything - he and his brother (passed away two years ago) where great horders and the farm is going to be a complete mess but at the same time a huge treasure trove - it'll take weeks, if not months! :lol:

Re: I'M BACK - ALMOST

Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 9:41 am
by Chuck
Had a trawl through some papers and effects last night looking for birth / marriage certs - off to register and plan funeral today - and its snowing like crazy.

Found my grandads war citation /commendation from WW1 - thought that had been lost. I'll try and post it some time - he was in the HLI. Also lots of wee cards he sent back from the trenches, (hand embroidered stuff, flowers from France etc on wee post cards).

I see the old boy "war trained" (according to his army book) on the Enfield 4 and Bren - his face was a picture when I showed him my AIA No4 a few years back, he never imagined he would have on in his hands again, especially at home....

T/Man Agreed mate - I did know it wouldm happen but not 5 weeks after I left the country. Just wish he had told his kids half the stuff he seems to have told other people about how he was doing and felt...............

Re: I'M BACK - ALMOST

Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 9:50 am
by ovenpaa
I have some of my Uncles and Grandfathers training books from WW1 and WW2. Based on how my uncle was marked it was probably best he was made a cook.

I showed my other uncle my No4 Mk1 the other day and I bet he had not touched a rifle since the 1950's when he was a regular in Malaya. He recognised it before I even got to him, checked it for safety and recounted some of his memories of the Mk1. He then told me he had put himself down to become an armourer but came to the conclusion it was going to be hard work so he joined the Army pay corp instead. Arghhh....!

Re: I'M BACK - ALMOST

Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 9:57 am
by Polchraine
Condolences to both of you Chuck and Sandgroper
Chuck wrote: I did know it wouldm happen but not 5 weeks after I left the country. Just wish he had told his kids half the stuff he seems to have told other people about how he was doing and felt...............
At that stage of their life parents are strange when it comes to telling their children things. My step-father was an MS suffered and needed near constant care for the MS problems but was otherwise in good mental and physical shape. My mother had to go for a minor op and my step father went into respite care for a few days - I flew back from a business trip as expected and saw him on the Friday night - he was on form and no hint of a problem. 07:30 the following morning got a call to take mother to the hospital ASAP - we were too late. It was my mothers birthday that day and we always wonder if he made a decision that he had "had enough" and it was a present to my mother to release her from the ties of constant care.


I am sitting here waiting for three calls. Cousin - lung cancer and has been given days or weeks; brother-in-law - lung cancer and been given weeks or months; family friend - major brain tumour and just days or at times "hours".