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The perils of Portaloos
Posted: Tue May 10, 2016 5:59 pm
by ovenpaa
Re: The perils of Portaloos
Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 5:15 am
by Christel
Nice touch with the toilet paper :)
Re: The perils of Portaloos
Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 6:47 am
by 25Pdr
Portaloos???
Bloody spoiled nowadays..
We were issued Tea Chests with a Toilet seat on top, just dig a hole and place it over the top. Bet there is a MOD part number too.
Not much difference though when you think about it.

Re: The perils of Portaloos
Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 11:35 am
by Chuck
Re: The perils of Portaloos
Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 12:11 pm
by nickb834
When I was "in" they were known as "Turdis'" which still to this day has me giggling like a teenager.......
Once had to move some around on a parade square (long story, AFV's fitted for comms - doing a "plug up" test) - duly moves said Turdis - to hear the muffled cries of a "choagy" who emerged looking like a smurf - only the white hat wasn't a white hat but brown s*** roll :-)
* choagy - nick name for Johnny Foreigner labourer employed by Div Main headquarters when there's copious amounts of pot washing required in a field kitchen........
Re: The perils of Portaloos
Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 2:00 pm
by Maggot
Years ago we had an RSM with 2 ADSR to which we were occasionally attached. We knew him as the screaming skull
On exercise at a place called Stadtholdendorf in Germany, the RSM (A tosser who could not live in the field without bringing bullshit with him) had just been to the HLS and had been strangely quiet (he was a bit out of his depth with helicopters, they were actually noisier than him)
Anyhoo
He takes up residence in a turdis....and a Chinook pays us a visit for a suck of AVTUR....and lo there was much wind....well....you may have heard the alternative version of "Old king cole...fell down the hole and came out covered in...shine up your buttons etc".
There was much screaming and kicking as it had blown over on its door (Well done 18 Sqn) but oddly, we could not hear him until a good 5 minutes after the wokka left...noisy things wokkas.
Anyway, who do you know who can lift anything when they are rolling about laughing...including the SSM.
There is a god

Re: The perils of Portaloos
Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 6:35 pm
by snayperskaya
When I was a scaffolder the labourers on one of the sites we were on sealed up the vent grilles and filled the "Thunder Box" with gas from the tea hut heater bottle.......and detonated it with a "crow banger" with a very long fuse.....excuse the pun but it blew the sh#t out of it!!!, and there was burning plastic etc everywhere.
Re: The perils of Portaloos
Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 7:15 pm
by Gazza
snayperskaya wrote:When I was a scaffolder the labourers on one of the sites we were on sealed up the vent grilles and filled the "Thunder Box" with gas from the tea hut heater bottle.......and detonated it with a "crow banger" with a very long fuse.....excuse the pun but it blew the sh#t out of it!!!, and there was burning plastic etc everywhere.
Was anyone in residence when it blew?

Re: The perils of Portaloos
Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 7:29 pm
by snayperskaya
Gazza wrote:snayperskaya wrote:When I was a scaffolder the labourers on one of the sites we were on sealed up the vent grilles and filled the "Thunder Box" with gas from the tea hut heater bottle.......and detonated it with a "crow banger" with a very long fuse.....excuse the pun but it blew the sh#t out of it!!!, and there was burning plastic etc everywhere.
Was anyone in residence when it blew?

No they'd made sure it was unoccupied, which was a good job!

Re: The perils of Portaloos
Posted: Thu May 12, 2016 6:52 am
by johngarnett
nickb384
Is a 'plug up' test some sort of anal occlusion experiment that tests the retention of the anus sphinctaris within a porta crapa??
JohnG ;-))))